EARLY bamba and the 40 weaves

EAgeR LovelY bamba and the 40 weaves

Valentines 2007

The year was 2007, the month February, the date 14^th, the day Wednesday. I remember it like it was just yesterday.

We had congregated at the Peoples Republic of Mwendas. In attendance were Talin, Pounding Father (PF), DreadyRasta aka DR alias Daktari, T-Total and Yours Truly. We were loosely catching pints and trading war stories. There was a DJ in the building and an extremely hilarious MC so the night was proceeding as smoothly as the motion of lotion on Professor Calculus’ kihara. To our joy and pleasure, a bevy of beauties walk into the place. 41 they were, early bamba at the helm. (Actually they were like five, but the effects of the dim lights and alcohol have been known to exaggerate matters). They sat across us on a hastily-constructed table; done by the waiters at my bidding of course.

Two immediately caught my eye:

Early Bamba (EB) – EB was just out of this world. She was yellow, lush, bambable, conshumable products, ready-made. And she had silky skin, outstanding uso-nyuso, flat belly, petito-rotund diab and when she smiled and I noticed the gap. “Abeg oh, wetin wahala she wants to cause now oh?” Then she had some huge belt that accentuated the pelvo-thutha curves. Gai Fafa.

Morgiana Mrembo (MM) – She was the darker version of EB. Its always interesting how one can be attracted to two chicks that are almost opposite in terms of looks and demeanour. EB was the Beyonce, MM the Kelly Rowland. Like the guys in the Farmers’ Choice advert, the statements were varied: Talin “I like mine spicy”, T-Total “I like mine meaty”, Milo “I like them all”

There Come a Time - Ndividually

The 40s, i.e. the chicks, two really hot others unbe-weavably down, were soon marinating themselves with the famous Mwendas cocktails and after a while I noticed them looking our way and giggling. Teren, teren. EB then gets off her seat and walks up to Daktari. She whispers something in his ear and then to our horror and dismay, grabs him by the hand and leads him out of the club. Dayum, we are down to MM and “the Others” (said in Sawyer’s voice, he of the Lost fame). Everyone is calling Dibs on MM. We draw straws and I get the short end of the stick. I am nominated to go to the other side of the Island and infiltrate the Others. Let’s just say I had to perform actions no man should in the quest for bambas, upto and including professing intentions on loudspeaker, just to get digits. Kweli if that was a ChessSunday (UjenziBora 2010), I had exposed my Queen to be chomped by a Pawn. Angalau a Bishop or a loose Rook. Naetsin, a Pawn!!!! But at least PF got to bond with MM so all wasn’t lost.

Redemption

Fast Forward to April-ish 2008, I’m doing my Masters in some Campo and who do I spot in the Cafeteria one Saturday afternoon, EB!!!! Hah! *Ambapoooooo* (y’all know the rest) and we agree to meet up later after class. I meet up with her at 4ish and I’m eager to buy her yoghurt, Fruits of the Forest to be exact. I look at her benchfully and just want to spirit her off to Milo-ro Gardens. We end up somewhere in UpperHill. The war is chemical, the damage massive. We end up at Oilibya Westlands. I visit the convenience store and stock up on liquor and the Ndom. The Compulsory Operational Ndom. Before we know it, we are both on the back seat drinking from the cup of life. I indulge in Ndom-donning and just as my sword is being safely stashed away in her scabbard, the paramilitary wing of the Watchman squad, Ungem division storm the moti. Aaaaaaargh, geddemit!!! I act as a temporary ATM for said squad and I’m allowed to leave with a wallet bila content. As I start the journey to chez Milo, EB is up in arms saying I drop her home. Huwatttttt!!!! Ati “not on the first night”. Say Huwattttttt!!!!

Irate, eyes almost popping from the sockets, I struggle to calm myself and drive her allllllllll the way to her place… We reach her gate and she’s like “It's OK, we can just go to your place…”