ANKLE moody

ANother Kenyan Lady bEing moody
Gai, si the other Sunday night was drama! Anyway, why did I expect it to be any different?? Not with iPack. I know how iPack is...
Calm before the Storm
We met at Offroad. My good friend MotoRazr really wants my boy, so in a show of good faith, she donated iPack to me in the hopes that I would dial-a-deliver my boy to her. I remember waiting outside OffRoad in the car. The first chicka that walked out looked like Jar-Jar Binks:


Woi gai noooo! "Ex-squeeze me! This bamba doin-a murda to mesa eyes. Shesa badda one this bamba. Mesa gettin' berry, berry scared" Then she chucks her mobile to make a call and mine rings. AkiYaNani noooo. Cant pick, wont pick! Shewks, she's chatting away and my phone's still ringing. I jikombose, wiping sweat from my brow. As I look up and answer the phone iPack chomokas in all her bamba-glory... Rihanna is playing "o-Bamba whats her name? o-Bamba whats her name?". This is one hot bamba. So she jumps into the motz and we're off to Westlands. Polite drinks at Skylux and she vamooses in the morning with MotoRazr. So far, so good. I have the digits.
PMLive
Next week I hook up with Man-One and Dr Nurse at some place on Ngong Road and he decides I should invite some chickas. I call up iPack and she agrees to pitia. "Stir the hornets nest!" Man-One eggs me on, "Call another one!". I decide to call Puff-Mami. Now Puff-Mami (PM) is like my boy. We almost performed Masasi once, but since then we just drink and hang out. I like her coz she helps me assess chicks and advises on which ones are ok and which ones are not. PM arrives first and we get down to the drinkings. All is well until iPack shows up and juxtapositions her bootiness against my frame, no room for manoeuvre. PM is not amused. Time for leaving she's like "So iPack will be leaving with Man-One right?" *silence* #ThatAwkwardMoment *silence* I drop PM first then drop off iPack.
Let the Games Begin
We agree to meet at Legend, and she's excitedly texting and calling. I fika and call, she's mteja. Texts, unanswered. I nyonya one Tusker and as Im leaving I spot her applying her body on some dude like swathings on a mummy. Assi? Her pal spots me but I keep walking. As Im driving off I get a call and she's asking why I'm leaving. "Si u were busy" is my curt reply. "Just come back, that's a pal" she pleads. I inform her there's no beef we can meet another day. She sends me a rude text sijui "You read into stuff too much". I, in turn, use my phone to surf.
Second Half
Weeks later, my pals invite me for the ManU-Liverpool game at Blancos, Galleria. On my way there she sends me a text asking what Im up to. I tell her I'll be watching soccer with the boys. She claims to be bila plot and wonders if she can join. I decide WTH and say its fine. Despite several texts and calls saying she is on her way, she delays so much the game ishas so we agree to meet at Psys. First, she kujas with a pal. Si Ive arranged two bar stools for iPack and Yours Truly. As they approach I dig in my heels and kaa ngumu kama Gumo on my stool (Heavily hinting 3 is a crowd). These chickas dont take hints. Salale they've sent a waiter to bring another stool. Haija, game plan is to maliza my Tusker and make like a tree and leaf... But the drama is yet to unfold. What looks like a plain-clothes waiter has invaded our sitting space. Wharrrizthiz (Tininai, 2010)?? And iPack introduces the guy as her Uncle, huh????? Hiyo hug sio ya Uncle!! Hiyo eye-contact sio ya Uncle!! And then the dude buys me a beer. Hark! Lo and behold!! Sacrilege!! Im soo worked up I have to calm my nerves with a beer. Seeing as the one he bought is right infront of me.... LOL. Two rounds later, he looks at me those ones of "your round now" I raise my chin and look the other way.
Injury Time
Some chick walks up to me and tells me I've been given summonses by two chicks by the entrance. Who's your daddy, who's your father? I walk, chest puffed out, towards them. And they are model-type hot woop woop! As their silky smooth hands flatteringly touch my back, shoulders and waist, their sweet whispers convince me to relocate to Tamasha. Adios iPack, Milo has left the building...